It's Complicated!

Driving in another country can be complicated. Though I’ve lived in my host country for nine years, I’ve only driven for three because I was too nervous for the longest time. I had to learn how to be a way more aggressive driver than I had learned to be in my home country. There are different enough rules, many of which are unwritten, that make it 100 times harder. Then again, having fewer written rules somehow makes it easier too. Complicated, right? Most of the time I feel pretty confident. Except for those moments when I cry, “Thank you Lord I didn’t just hit that guy wearing all black who just ran across the road at night with zero street lights!”

The other day, I had a similar experience. I was turning left at a busy intersection where, of course, the traffic lights were out of order. It’s pretty much a free-for-all, my kind of nightmare when trying to turn left. I said my normal prayer, “Help me Lord,” and inched forward. A tro (a twelve-seater public transportation van) pulled up next to me, also turning left, though technically he wasn’t even in a lane. As he pushed his way forward, through the throng of traffic, I hid myself beside him and followed in his wake.

Afterward, I realized I had a lot of blind faith in that random tro driver. That could’ve easily ended up with someone driving into my tail that I couldn’t see coming. But I knew from years of living here that there’s an unwritten rule that tros have the right of way and that it was more likely people would make way for him – and me, driving in his shadow.

The same time I realized this, the Lord reminded me that I also have “blind” faith in Him because I know His character. I know He is loving and kind and generous towards His children. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. I know He’s working all things for my good. So, I can trust Him, though my sight may be lacking in the moment.

I’ve had to put this kind of blind faith in action more than a few times this year. Times when I had to choose to trust instead of fret when my plans fell through yet again or the negative sign reared its ugly head for the umpteenth time. Times when I had to choose to cling to hope when the questions came either from a well-meaning family member or friend, or even my own head. “When are you going to have children?” “When are you moving back to America?” “What is your five-year plan?” “Why are you still there when so many have left?”

Sometimes, I just want to scream, “It’s complicated!” I don’t know what God is doing. I don’t know our five-year plan, let alone our one-year plan. I don’t know why we’ve had to wait for children when so many of our friends got pregnant so easily and without trying.

Life is complicated. We can’t know the answers all the time. And when we think we do, I’ve learned that often, I really don’t. Isaiah 55:9 reminds us that the Lord’s ”ways [are] higher than [our] ways and [His] thoughts than [our] thoughts.“

Honestly, I’m thankful for this complicated life in some ways. It’s brought me so much closer to my Savior. It’s made me 100% dependent on Him and His plans that are so much better than mine. So, sisters, let us have blind faith, trusting God no matter how complicated life gets. Even when we don’t know the answers or life throws us another lemon, let’s cling to our Father whose ways and thoughts are so much higher and better than ours.

In what ways have you had to have blind faith recently? Are you at the place where you can be thankful for life’s complications?

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